Perfectionism, Burnout, and Self-Doubt: Break the Loop with the Science of Mattering | Gordon Flett

Plus: combatting loneliness, turning down the volume on social comparison, and why mattering to a few people beats outperforming everyone.

Gordon Flett is a Professor in the Department of Psychology at York University where he has served as the Director of the LaMarsh Centre for Child and Youth Research. Dr. Flett is most known for his influential research on perfectionism in health and mental health and his more recent work on the psychology of mattering.

In this episode we talk about:

• The difference between perfectionism and healthy striving
• How perfectionism functions as a coping mechanism for unmet needs for love, belonging, and significance
• What "mattering" actually means
• Antimattering (and our fear of not mattering)
• Why feeling like you matter to others can loosen the grip of perfectionism
• Why people consistently underestimate how much they matter to others
• Practical ways to help others feel like they matter
• Why helping others feel like they matter boomerangs back and boosts your own sense of significance
• The fear of not mattering in the age of AI

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Additional Resources:

• Gordon's books: The Psychology of Mattering, Mattering as a Core Need in Children and Adolescents, and Perfectionism: Theory, Research, and Treatment

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