How and When is Sex Ed Appropriate?

We explain our strategy of aggressively educating kids about sexuality to normalize it and reduce interest. We believe society frames sex as no different from porn and this obsessiveness ruins enjoyment. True happiness comes from improving future generations, not temporary pleasure. Early exposure and openness make desire and experiences less appealing long-term.

Malcolm Collins: [00:00:00] I was like, okay, let's look into the data on this. Yeah. Generally it seems that the more you teach young kids about sex, the less they have sex and the later they have sex the first time. Do you think that's because adults

Simone Collins: are tainting it with uncoolness?

Malcolm Collins: I would that could be part of it. Yeah,

Simone Collins: but does this teaching kids about sex include teaching kids about. Abstinence, or like teaching

Malcolm Collins: kids to not have sex.

Okay, so you can do abstinence only education, which actually has a similar effect to general sex education.

Simone Collins: Interesting. See, I had thought as a kid growing up, and like younger, that like abstinence only education didn't work. That's what I always heard. Abstinence

Malcolm Collins: only education doesn't work. Of course, because that's what they wanted to tell you.

Yeah. Like that fit the narrative. Perhaps in this only education actually does work, but it doesn't seem to work as long as general sex education. The more a community is told to restrict access to these sorts of things, the more they're going to engage with these sorts of things under the radar.

It really seems like. The best panacea [00:01:00] against over sexual abundance. So we will teach our kids, basically the answer here is we will teach our kids pretty aggressively and early about human sexuality. But because we want them to engage in the topic with moderation, and we think that that is the best way to achieve that outcome. ​We are getting to do a special recording today because we had the disappointment of setting up all our recording equipment For a Great Britain, what about a GB news interview?

And this is the second time they've done this to us But you know, we always got to be ready for those news conversations and said we're like what we blocked out time Anyway, we might as well take the time to chat with each other which is more fun Let's be honest. We had one of those, those recording sessions ruthlessly stolen from us by a a friend where we had to talk with a friend.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. The burden of [00:02:00] friendship. Will it ever leave us, Simone? God, I don't know. One day I hope to be famous enough that I do not care about alienating myself from friends. The whole world can be just you, me and the kids. Won't that be wonderful?

Simone Collins: Yeah, except then like the friends that you do hang out with probably just hang out with you because you're famous, which sounds annoying.

No,

Malcolm Collins: no, I don't want any friends. Once I'm, once I'm at that level. Just, just

Simone Collins: would be completely isolated. Okay, that's dreamy. I'm

ready

Malcolm Collins: for that. You, me, the kids, living in our, our antique farmhouse in the woods. Yeah, that's fine. Okay. Or potentially we're going to have to go set up our charter city by then, some remote place in the far north, a little settlement, right?

Simone Collins: God, I don't want to leave this place. I really like

Malcolm Collins: it. I know. I know. So today's topic is an interesting one. And it has to do with when we think it is appropriate and how we will engage with our kids and the subject of sexuality. Indeed. And [00:03:00] what's really funny is I think a lot of people might see us or they see, you know,

they know that broadly, you know, we consider ourselves as very like culturally similar to Ayla. And, and we're friends with her, you know, we have her on the show sometimes. And then we'd be like, what, so you want to raise your kids to grow up like Ayla, right? Like, is that your goal? I'm not

Simone Collins: grow up like Ayla, because she grew up in an extremely hardline conservative religious

Malcolm Collins: household.

Yeah, well, I mean, we are an extremely hardline conservative religious household, we just have a different view of sexuality. We're

Simone Collins: not a sex negative extremely hardline conservative religious

Malcolm Collins: household. Yeah, that's what you meant. So, so, our response would be, you know, which of us Ayla or us, do you think, grew up not learning about sexuality?

I was exposed to sexual, like, like, information at an extremely young age. And, and I would say it was extremely negative. I, I remember, because I remember, okay, so the house I was living at the time, I couldn't have been older than seven. When my mom, I [00:04:00] remember this conversation with my mom. Oh dear.

Simone Collins: And she takes me by Okay, so

Malcolm Collins: you're totally pre pubescent at this point. And she goes, well, Malcolm, you're going to need to be very, very careful because many young girls are going to try to get you to get them pregnant so that they can force you to marry them and take your money.

Simone Collins: I mean, actually, that's, if you have a family that is likely to be targeted for that.

Malcolm Collins: I understand. She had a perception that we were that kind of, and I guess my family more largely was that way at that age. That was sort of at times your

Simone Collins: family did have a lot of wealth. And I think was known for that. Also, like it could be a similar liability if like, you know, that your kid is like going to be the high school star.

And then like women would. You know, you need to warn your sons that like, women will pursue them just for social status. It's not as like, the pregnancy

Malcolm Collins: risk is not as dangerous. I remember she also told me like, at a pretty young age, [00:05:00] that I needed to know how to be good at sex. I needed to know how to, like, that this was something that I should take the time to research and familiarize myself with.

Like, she wasn't like, creepy, like, I'm gonna. you know, teach you about all this stuff, which I appreciate, but she was just like, this is something you can study and you should take the time to study because it will matter both in terms of your social, you know, popularity and your ability to secure a high quality wife.

And, and, and as. Other people who have read other of our works know one of the things that my mom always, always enforced me as a young kid is that the single most important decision or accomplishment I would ever make is who I married. So for her to be like, this is really important in terms of who marries you, for her to be like, this is important in terms of who you marry, like, she's being like, this is a really critical life tool. And you also grew up with a lot of exposure to sexuality stuff at a young age, right? Yeah, I mean, all

Simone Collins: my parents just left, like Porn illustrations [00:06:00] and like

Malcolm Collins: this is one of the most embarrassing moments of my life at your house.

So do you remember this? So I'm talking with her dad in the living room.

Simone Collins: This is like

Malcolm Collins: in like a main, like in the living room. And I see on the bookshelf