How Women Stopped Caring About Relationships (Half the Rate of Men!)

In this engaging episode, Simone and Malcolm dive deep into two fascinating studies. The first explores gender differences in the desire and value placed on romantic relationships, revealing that men have a stronger preference for romance compared to women. They discuss the potential reasons behind this disparity, including societal influences and state support systems. The second study examines how attractiveness influences the speaker fees of scientists in various fields. They find that while attractive social scientists command higher fees, natural scientists who are less attractive earn more for speaking engagements. The hosts also share personal anecdotes and reflections on trauma, societal norms, and the intersection of personal experiences with broader cultural themes. The episode wraps up with a light-hearted discussion about comments from their audience and the quirks of nerdy dating.

Malcolm Collins: [00:00:00] Hello Simone. I'm excited to be here with you today. Today we are gonna be discussing two very interesting studies.

Hmm. The first looks at how much men and women want and value romantic relationships showing that men. Have an overwhelming preference for romance and romantic relationships. We'll get into why that may be. And then in the second we're going to look at how attractiveness affects the speaker price of scientists within various fields.

The what? In some fields, the more attractive they are, the higher they're paid and within other fields, the less attractive they are, the higher they're paid.

Simone Collins: Oh, I have to guess this before we go into it. And guess in the comments. Don't cheat. Don't skip ahead. I wanna see if people get this right. Maybe like obscure scientific fields. I bet neuroscientists are really attractive. Just knowing what you've said about like people in the field and, and then also looking at like the people who work in the field.

And I'm gonna guess that you know what also [00:01:00] archeologists and biologists, I'm gonna say in general really good. I'm gonna say historians and artists who aren't commercial well, like fi, like super modern artists, probably better off looking.

Malcolm Collins: Well, let's see if you're right. All right. Okay, let's, but we're gonna, let's first start on relationships.

Simone Collins: Yeah. I'm, so, I think this is a really, so why I think this relationships thing is really important to explore, and I wanna just talk with you like in terms of what you think you would do as a man dating today, is that we can't solve the problem of tism so long as women. Really don't have that much drive to marry men.

And this is one of those uncomfortable issues where I do think that like both feminism and currently state support services kind of just really removed everything that used to make women be like, yeah, I'm probably better off. Well, I

Malcolm Collins: also think that the way women date causes them to form negative impressions of men and causes them to undervalue the types of relationships they might be able to get.

That's

Simone Collins: [00:02:00] fair. Yeah. Well, and, and overfocus on it. Like when I look at at least Progressive. Critiques of dating and relationships and social media. It's like, well, I don't wanna be a mother to another like guy. Like, like basically like if you take on a boyfriend or a husband, now you're, you're baby. But that's not I'm, I understand that,

Malcolm Collins: that that's what you perceive because you watch the Twitter people who are trying to make themselves look good, but the core problem women are having in terms of self-perception.

If, if you look at, let's say Tinder where there's a famous statistic that less than 1% of women are swiping right on the average looking guy, right? The vast majority are just swiping on a few guys. So this means that they are likely, even if they think they're in a monogamous relationship, sharing a partner.

And that partner is going to, when he knows that they are very easily replaceable as they are for the top attractiveness and earning men in our society treat them in such a way.

Simone Collins: That also explains a lot. 'cause I was, I was looking at some stats on my own on this front before we started and was really confused when the stats were reporting that [00:03:00] more women than men report themselves as being in relationships.

And I'm like, Hmm, how does that work? Because I'm looking at the US we're roughly, it's 50 50. Yeah. So happening

Malcolm Collins: is that women, and this is where you get this, I hate men thing. And I think that we as men can like be like, oh, well this is just, but. Some of these women, based on their experiences, may really have a reason to feel like every guy is cheating on them because they are.

No, because they kind of are. Yeah. They are not moderated. They, they are not dating women who are men who are actually in their league. Yeah. They are using their sexual league was their marriage market league. They're dating lazy.

Simone Collins: As we've

Malcolm Collins: talked. Yeah. Well also not considering that that lowers their value within the marriage Market league later further confusing them.

Right. But let's go into the statistics on this because there, there's other issues at play here as well. I mean, the other big one before I go into the statistics is that women to get most of the things that they used to get from a relationship from the state these days the core things women often got from a relationship was security.

Support somebody to help care for their kids. You know, there, there is no reason, for example [00:04:00] that 73% of black women today should be having kids out of wedlock. If you look historically when there wasn't as much state support, the black child rate out of wedlock in the 1960s was half. The white child rate out of wedlock, it was 5% to 10%.

And so this is something that is downstream of these support systems which create an alternative. As you've pointed out. Even if you're not talking about the ones who have kids you, you can get this protection by the state for women if you look at the people who actually like used shelters, for example, they are overwhelmingly women.

If you look at the people who are on welfare, I remember I was looking once and it was like a crazy number . No, it was, it was single mothers was the one who was eating it all up. Yeah. Oh,

Simone Collins: well, yeah, sure.

Malcolm Collins: But the, the point here being is that yeah. And find the real number on that 'cause that, that, that's gonna be interesting.

But the point here being is that. Women have sort of become nuns to the state and the urban monoculture, it's like if they just dedicate themselves to it fully, they can receive. And people can be like, well, what about sex? And, and again, you can just look at the statistics. While women might be into like weirder porn than men [00:05:00] on average as you can see by the monster aisle at most mainstream bookstores, the girl monster aisle.

God bless. Yeah, it's a thing. It's like that this girl F's monsters, like, that's a, that's a whole, not even one aisle. I would argue at most bookstores, it's like two to three aisles. If you're talking about a large bookstore, like if men flaunt a, a fetish like that I, I think that they'd be pretty heavily shamed.

I.

Simone Collins: So according to a Pew Research Center survey, 61% of women in the US reported having received at least one major federal entitlement benefit at some point in their lives compared to 49% of men. So more women, but n