NYT Brands Divorce as the Cool New Trend for Gen Z Girls

In this episode, Simone and Malcolm Collins dive into the evolving landscape of Gen Z divorce, inspired by a trending New York Times article. They discuss how marriage and divorce are changing for younger generations, exploring topics like queer solidarity, polyamory, and the shifting meaning of marriage. The conversation covers the normalization of divorce, the influence of social media on relationship expectations, and the rise of non-traditional relationship models. Simone and Malcolm also reflect on personal experiences, societal trends, and the impact of cultural shifts on marriage, family, and identity. The episode is filled with insightful commentary, humor, and candid takes on what it means to be married—or divorced—in the modern age.

Simone Collins: [00:00:00] Hello Malcolm. I’m excited to be speaking with you today because we have come across more New York Times Gold, and if you did not happen to see this trending on X, then you might’ve missed it. We don’t want you to miss this because this is about Gen Z divorce at least the more fun parts of Gen Z divorce.

Malcolm Collins: I thought it was fascinating when you were going through it because it was. Oh my God. The que they’re like, well, you know, I had to have a sit down with his mistress before telling him, because, you know, queer solidarity. And it’s like, it is the most Gen Z, gen Z thing you’ve ever seen. I mean, it shows that the context of marriage is really changing for this next generation.

Simone Collins: Yeah.

Malcolm Collins: And if people think fertility rates are shot now, they do not know what’s coming. I’m gonna tell you what

Simone Collins: 100% Yeah. We’re, we’re in for it. One of the big complaints when this was discussed on, on X people were saying, this isn’t representative. This isn’t what Gen Z’s actually like. But the, the whole point is.[00:01:00]

What, what this article highlights is a a a specific ex extreme, just like any divorce lawyer is going to see a lot of specific extremes. And what’ll, and we’re, we’re gonna get into it with the article, but divorce lawyers are now this the matter having

Malcolm Collins: divorce lawyer, I got the impression

Simone Collins: right there, there were a couple that were interviewed.

But they’re seeing a distinct shift in the reasons why people are getting divorced and that shift is meaningful. But even though we’re looking at

Malcolm Collins: cases, but I, the genzer who are saying, this isn’t the Gen Z that I know I think what we’re, we’re actually seeing is a bifurcation and behavioral patterns with Gen Z with some becoming uber brain rotted, urban monoculture, and some moving away from the urban monoculture, and there’s less of a middle ground within that generation.

Simone Collins: Yeah, I agree. And, and the same people stick with the same people. The insane people, well, they cuddle together and talk about divorcing their

Malcolm Collins: ais.

Simone Collins: Yeah. Their AI boyfriends. Yeah.

Malcolm Collins: Alright, continue. Come on, start. Let’s, let’s go. [00:02:00]

Simone Collins: I’m so excited for this. In 2021, Kira Benson, a violinist. Living in Seattle knew it was time to get a divorce ending.

Their two year lavender marriage wasn’t an easy decision, but the musician had a supportive ally. If you have to dump your ex-husband, m Benson said go dump him with his mistress. Before the breakup, Mick Benson, 27. Who uses the pronoun? They checked in with her, their, sorry. Their therapist who said a divorce would be a good choice.

Out of queer solidarity. They informed their husband’s mistress. This was kosher and mixed Benson’s arrangement.

Malcolm Collins: Sure. Before we go further, can we start breaking apart everything that’s going on here? Okay, so first there in what she refers to as a lavender marriage which is a type of marriage that you get into as a woman if you are gay.

To try to hide that you’re gay. From the general public,

Simone Collins: it must have a different meaning. Now

Malcolm Collins: it, I, I, hold on.

Simone Collins: Okay. I

Malcolm Collins: will [00:03:00] explain why the term is being used. Okay. ‘cause clearly if you’re going by, they, you, you, you are not trying to hide anything. Like you are not living in an environment where you need to hide your sexuality.

Simone Collins: Exactly. Yeah.

Malcolm Collins: Right. So. What she’s trying to do is make herself seem like more of a victim. It’s just a way to pretend like, well, as a, as a queer woman, I live in constant fear because I like guys and girls. You know, like I, you know, so

Simone Collins: should I just, like, if I, I just called our marriage, lavender marriage, I would get points in that

Malcolm Collins: realm.

Yes. Because you’re acting like you are a, it’s a way to remind people, Hey, I’m a victim.

Simone Collins: Yes. This is not a marriage. This is Anne Frank’s attic. Okay.

Malcolm Collins: Yeah. Right. The second, because the way she talks about it, it appears to be a, a real. Sexually active marriage. Right. Because she implies as well that she is sexually active with her husband’s mistress.

Which,

Simone Collins: I

Malcolm Collins: don’t know if

Simone Collins: that’s implied. I mean, it,

Malcolm Collins: I, I, we haven’t gotten to that part yet, but I remember in part of it I was like, [00:04:00] oh, but if

Simone Collins: your husband has a mistress. You know. Oh,

Malcolm Collins: I know why. I know why I took it as implied. Because she said out of queer solidarity, she told the mistress first, which implies that the mistress is queer.

Which, okay, the husband is sleeping with this woman. He’s married to this other woman who, who’s sleeping with both of them are also into women. And this, well, it’s really

Simone Collins: interesting though.

Malcolm Collins: Relationship was the, was the mistress than she did with the husband. ‘cause she told the mistress first.

Simone Collins: Could this be a sign also that polyamory branding is changing, like.

They didn’t wanna say secondary, they wanted to say mistress. Was this a condition of the mistress? Because it sounds kind of crappy to be a secondary.

Malcolm Collins: No. So there’s a few things going on here, I think. Okay. I think the reason she choose the term mistress instead of saying that they were polyamory, and this was a secondary, was because again, she wanted to frame herself as a victim and her husband.

Having a mistress is like a

Simone Collins: Yeah, but if you have like pizza parties with your mistress or queer solidarity with your [00:05:00] mistress.

Malcolm Collins: She’s trying to show that even though her husband takes her for granted in these ways, that, and I also think the term mistress sounds pretty cool. Like it, it sounds

really,

Simone Collins: oh, 100%.

I think secondary should be dropped. What’s the, what is the, what is the male equivalent of mistress?

Malcolm Collins: Oh, mis, I know because I read it in one of my Korean romance fantasies recently. Okay. So you’re gonna have to have a, I can’t remember this. This w