The Bible: Marry A Tomboy (Real “Trad” = Tomboy)

This episode examines what the Bible actually teaches about the qualities of a good wife, focusing on the Hebrew term often rendered as virtuous but more accurately conveying strength, capability, and valor. We walk through Proverbs 31 in detail along with supporting passages from Ruth and the New Testament to show how Scripture describes a productive, self-controlled, and resourceful partner.

The discussion covers translation history, the emphasis on work and investment rather than appearance, the role of self-control, and practical applications for modern Christian households. It also addresses common misconceptions about traditional roles and highlights the consistent biblical picture of a capable wife who strengthens her family.

Episode Transcript

Malcolm Collins:Hello, Simone. I’m excited to be here with you today. Today, we are going to be exploring what the bible says you should look for in a wife. Oh. And surprise, surprise, the bible being a great and wise book. The wisest of books says that you should look for a tomboy. Not a woman who dresses like a guy, but otherwise, most of the traits we today would associate with a tomboy. And I appreciate that the writers of the bible were men of culture. Oh my gosh.

Simone Collins:Okay. Great.

Malcolm Collins:And this has been hidden a lot from modern readings of the bible because the word that makes it especially clear Okay. Has... Essentially, it was it was really well translated for most of the bible’s history until we got to pretty modern translations. Okay. Like, how modern? Like, many of the English translations, for example.

Simone Collins:Okay. So, like, Elizabethan, like, King James, they started messing with it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Malcolm Collins:They started translating a word that... Into into virtuous very frequently, but the word is not virtuous. And it’s a word that is commonly when it’s talking about, like, what a good woman is in in the Old Testament. And can you guess what this word is most commonly used to describe... Like, it’s it’s common normal usage. Rugged? It’s used to describe the power of an army. Like, it is a very aggressive word. It is a word that we will we will get into. Okay. Because when you when you understand that and we... And we’ll go through it in context, we’ll go through when it’s used to describe the strength of an army, you will see that what it expects of women. And then we’re gonna go through more of what the New Testament says about women and longer bits of the Old Testament, and the bible is not shy about this tomboy aesthetic. And you will realize, Simone, that you are closer than you would imagine to the true tradwife. Have you defined a tradwife by a

Simone Collins:Oh, perfect. You really keep trying to make me into a tradwife.

Malcolm Collins:The true trad wife is the tomboy trad wife, Simone.

Simone Collins:You slept in my childhood bedroom for, like, three months when you were out on She painted it all pink. Yeah. It was it

Malcolm Collins:was a very it was very small. Pink like all of your knives. You know? Your pink knife collection. It was so girly.

Simone Collins:So not tomboy, obviously.

Malcolm Collins:But she showed it to me on the first date I went to her house. She’s like, look at all my knives.

Simone Collins:They’re super cute. I should display them around here. We can I have a a knife wall? That would be super cute. I... They’re just right up there in the attic. They’re, like, 30 feet from me right now. Do it. Okay.

Malcolm Collins:Very on on brand for our culture. Yeah. So the... There’s four instances in which this happens, the the use of this word. We’ve got Ruth three eleven. We’ve got Proverbs twelve four. We’ve got Proverbs thirty one ten, which is the opening of the famous poem that we’re gonna get... Read through the whole thing Which does a... Is very explicit on this. It’s a a mom telling her son what he should look for in a wife and bemoaning how hard it is to find these tomboys. Where where where can I find these women? So the word

Simone Collins:Oh, so nothing has changed because this is what I hear from the young eligible gentleman of base camp.

Malcolm Collins:Yes. The Shaiol... Obviously, I’m pronouncing it wrong, is a masculine noun whose core meanings are strengths, efficiency, ability, valor, wealth, and or it’s often just directly translated as army or host.

Simone Collins:I mean, that sounds good in any partner. Yes. That seems solid. I would I would encourage our sons to get that for sure.

Malcolm Collins:Strength, efficiency, and ability. I’m like, yeah.

Simone Collins:Go for it. Too. Like, I mean, any spouse, you would probably want those things. No one wants an inefficient spouse.

Malcolm Collins:Any any... There there are lines that basically say you should not focus on a woman with lots of jewelry. You shouldn’t focus on a woman, which I also think is a pretty advice.

Simone Collins:Isn’t that a representation of wealth?

Malcolm Collins:However Who over gussies herself up. You shouldn’t focus on... Yeah. So we’re we’re gonna learn a

Simone Collins:about that. Inefficient, and that is actually, if anything, a sign of weakness.

Malcolm Collins:It is it is used, and it’s good advice. Like, one thing I’m gonna say that I like about this is I actually think if I was going to build, like, a guide for my own kids on what to look for in a wife, it’s going to look a lot like what the Bible says. Okay? Now note this word is used extensively for military forces, for mighty men of valor, or something. When the subject of the woman, English bibles often softened it to virtuous, excellent, or noble character.

Simone Collins:Okay.

Malcolm Collins:Where if you look in the Jewish tradition, it’s often translated as woman of valor or woman of strength, which I still think undersells it. Alright? Now to understand how this word is normally used, if you look at something like Exodus fourteen nine or fourteen twenty eight or fifteen four Pharaoh’s... Oh, s**t. This word, army, is is what it’s described as. The the the Oh,

Simone Collins:so you... That you see the same word explicitly used to describe an army.

Malcolm Collins:Yeah. In judges six twelve, the angel calls Gideon a man of mighty valor, and that’s the same word there. In Judges, Jeff... Jepheshin is introduced as a mighty man of valor. And you see this Samuel’s nine one. You see this Kings five one. It’s it’s a common. Okay. So... And you’ll see how when you look at these translations, if you look at a a common English translation, it’ll say something like, thou art a virtuous woman, where if you translated it more directly, you would say, you are a strong woman. Or a modern English translation will say, a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, whereas a more direct translation would say, a courageous wife is a crown to her husband. or you will see a virtuous, who shall find a virtuous woman? and then better translation was probably who can find a courageous wife. Or we’ll say obtain wealth wrought valiantly. And then it might otherwise be translated as obtained wealth many did mighty things. So if you were asking when did it get fully translated, if you go to the Septuagint, which uses Greek, it was translated as a woman of power and strength, courageous, or a manly slash brave wife. A manly wife. Adara.

Simone Collins