Uncle Sam (1996)

It's America's birthday and you know what she hates more than anything? COMMIES. She needs a knight in shining red, white and blue armor (and totally not-creepy mask) to replenish the blood on the roots of the Tree of Liberty and who better suited for the job than an abusive rapist husband/brother/uncle-cum-undead soldier named Sam? We're celebrating our independence from sanity with 1996's Uncle Sam and just wow. The unspoken subplot of the film has to be that the main child actor is really a robot in synthetic human skin, that's the only reasonable explanation for his performance. You also get some interesting kills and the faintest hint of a critique of the military you'll see in a Fourth of July horror film, so it's definitely worth the price of admission. Nothing says AMERICA like corrupt politicians, Chinese fireworks and Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices