Perfectionism Isn't a Virtue, It's a Coping Mechanism

Most perfectionists have been praised their whole lives for being perfectionists. That's the thing that makes it so hard to see.

In this episode, Monique unpacks what perfectionism actually is, underneath the praise: a survival contract your younger self made with the world that said, if I get this right, I will be safe.

She tells the story of a woman called Nina — a successful lawyer whose family and team had stopped bringing her their rough drafts because they'd learned she had a very accurate ruler. And the story of a brilliant writer friend with a folder of forty-three finished, unsent pieces on her laptop.

This is an episode for the high achievers who have quietly been paying the price of their own perfection for years. Who can't tell the difference between high standards and fear anymore. Who finish things and feel relieved instead of proud.

You will leave this episode with one small, specific experiment to try this week. Not a breakthrough. Not a life overhaul. Just eighty per cent, one thing at a time.

Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.