Why Seeing People Leaves You So Tired

You had a good time. Nothing anybody said upset you. And then you came home and you were completely flattened by it.

This one is about where that energy went, and you didn't imagine it. There's a good chance you were doing a second job the whole time you were at that social event, and nobody there could see you doing it. That probably includes you.

I go through the two halves of that second job. The watching, which is keeping track of how everybody around you is doing. And the editing, which is managing how you come across, and what James Gross at Stanford found about what holding a feeling in actually costs you. There's also a section on why this gets harder as you get older, which has nothing to do with your age and everything to do with how gatherings change.

Then one change to make before you go to a social event rather than while you're at it, and a second suggestion about when to leave.

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