Rerelease: Top 10 Reasons An Abuser Doesn't Want To Change

In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse Q&A, Brandon discusses why abusive partners often do not want to change, using ideas from Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? The episode looks at the rewards an abuser gets from abusive behavior, including power, control, privilege, free labor, financial control, double standards, and the ability to make everyone else organize their lives around the abuser’s needs. Brandon also breaks down how these patterns become reinforced over time, and why abusive behavior is not just about anger, stress, trauma, or losing control. It often creates a life where the abuser gets their way, avoids responsibility, receives attention, and keeps the relationship built around their comfort. This episode is about understanding the benefits abusers receive from control, and why real change requires giving up the privileges abuse has created.