Episode 472: Why Being Loved Doesn’t Always Feel Like Love

You can be deeply loved—and still not feel it. In this episode, we’re exploring the gap between being loved and feeling loved, the myths that keep love from landing, and how modern life can amplify disconnection. If you’ve ever felt unseen, insecure, or lonely inside an otherwise good relationship, this conversation will help you understand why, and what you can do about it. My guest is Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of the best-selling books The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness. Her latest book, co-authored with Dr. Harry Reis, is titled How To Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More Of What Matters Most. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why do so many people struggle to feel loved, even when they clearly are? How can admiration and praise actually leave us feeling lonelier? Why does believing you have to “earn” love block you from experiencing it? What happens to our mental health, relationships, and desire when we don’t feel loved? How is modern technology undermining our sense of connection? To learn more about How to Feel Loved, click here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.