Episode 527: How Do You Want To Feel During Sex?

When we talk about what we want sexually, we usually describe certain behaviors, positions, or roles. But that's only part of the story. Beneath what we want to do is a deeper question: How do we want to feel during sex? Some want to feel adored. Others want to feel powerful, desired, free, or cared for. These emotional experiences reflect our Core Desires, and understanding them can offer a much richer picture of our sexuality than simply cataloging our preferred bedroom activities.

I am joined once again by Dr. Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman, the co-creators of the Somatica® Method and co-founders of the Somatica Institute, where they have trained coaches around the world in an experiential approach to sex, relationships, and personal transformation. They are the authors of three books and serve as the lead sexologists and co-executive producers of the UK Channel 4 award-winning series Virgin Island.

Some of the specific topics we cover include:

• What are some examples of Core Desires?
• How are Core Desires different from our attachment style?
• Are Core Desires the same thing as sexual fantasies?
• How can someone figure out their Core Desires?
• What are some tips for couples looking to explore their Core Desires together?

You can visit celesteanddanielle.com to learn more about their work and take their Core Desires quiz at https://somatica.com/quiz

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beduc.at/pd2633-lehmiller

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.